Pinch And Then Pull

April 13, 2014 by allthingsmaddie 2 Comments

I was sitting in my recliner watching a favorite television show.  My dog, Nala was sitting in my lap as usual.  I reached up to rub her ear and she yelped.  I knew something was wrong.  After careful inspection, she had some sort of abscess in the lobe of her ear the size of a golf ball.  The next morning I made the dreadful trip (for me, because she loved going ) to the Vet.  Diagnosis?  A hematoma.  Prognosis?  It would require surgery.   Upon making the arrangements to bring her back for the surgery, I told the office manager that she might need
to have a box of tissue for me when I dropped her off.  It was at that point that I knew this was going to be difficult for me.    You see, the last time one of our dogs had been drooped off at the Vet, he died during the night. He was much sicker than the Vet had anticipated  It was so unexpected. It left what felt like a hole in my heart.  As I left the Veterinary Clinic, I could feel the anxiety welling up in my heart.  I knew in my head that this was totally different situation, but in my heart, I still felt very anxious and fearful.  I was afraid that I would drop off Nala and never see her again.  Each passing day before I took her, the fear and anxiety increased.

Today, I decided I would work in the yard and weed the flowerbed.  Weeding is not something that I have done a lot of, but now that I live by myself, if I do not do it, it will not get done.  I had donned some gloves and  knee pads for protection. As I was weeding, I found that the roots of the weeds were very short and shallow.  The root systems had not grown deep into the soil. Therefore they were very easy to pull.  All I had to do was use 2 fingers, pinch and then pull.  It was amazing how easily they came up.  While I was weeding, the Lord started talking to me about the garden of my heart.  Just like in the flower bed, all it takes is a little bit of consistency in weeding out the  FEAR, ANGER, ANXIETY, SHAME…..The list goes on.  One thing I did notice in the flower bed, is that the weeds that had been there since last spring were taller than the actual bushes and shrubs that had been deliberately planted.  The weeds were the first thing you noticed when you looked in the flower bed.  Not because they were pretty, but because they were taller than all of the other plants.  But, the root systems on those, were just as shallow as the others I had pulled.  Once I had worked for an hour, I had a wagon full of weeds.  My flower beds looked great!    Then my eyes were drawn to the beautiful iris’ that had bloomed earlier this week.  They were visible before, but even more so now.  As I was admiring their beauty, I noticed a large weed I had over looked.  I reached to pull it out and realized for the first time, that they had small stickers on them.  I forgot that I had taken off my gloves.  I felt the Lord tell me that weeding required proper protection.  I had gloves and knee pads for my flower bed.  The protection I needed for the flower bed of my heart, was the word of God, Faith, Righteousness, Truth and Salvation.

What I did not tell you earlier is that even though I had not spent a lot of time weeding physical flower beds in the past, I have spent quite a bit of time in the past 8 months weeding in the garden of my heart.  I have been pinching and pulling out Fear.  Fear of being alone.  Weeding out Shame.  You know, that feeling in your gut that says, “You are not lovable. Because if you were, your husband would not have left you. ”  Weeding out Anger.  Feeling so much anger, that praying for the person who hurt me so much was just about impossible.  But, all of those weeds were in the garden of my heart.   God provided me the protection I needed to pull those weeds.  The wonderful thing is, the root systems are not as deeply rooted as the enemy would like for us to believe.  The other thing I did not tell you, is that once I realized that the fear of loosing Nala was growing bigger than my faith, I knew I needed to get rid of it.  And, get rid of it I did.  I was able to drop her off at the Veterinary Clinic without any anxiety, or fear of not seeing her again.  I had uprooted the fear that the enemy had planted in my heart 8 years previously when we lost our other dog.  I was successful in focusing on the joy of having a dog, instead of the fear of loosing one.  So, my daily activity is to consistently pinch and pull weeds.  Whether they are in the garden of my heart, or my flower bed.  It gives me the opportunity to gaze at the beauty of what has been planted by either my own hand, or , the hand of God.